Someone butt dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.

2 old people sitting on a bench one turns to the other and says my butt fell asleep the other says yep i heard it snore a couple of times

the toilet paper tried to cross the road he couldnt because he was stuck in a CRACK

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread em?

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt-quack.

What medicine do you take when your butt hurts ANSWER: assprin

A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?“ The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore.”

What did one butt check say to the other? “Between you and me it stinks in here”

What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his butt.

[God creating spiders] God: make it have 8 legs Angel: ok? bit excessive but ok God: and 8 eyes Angel: You need to calm down and li- God: give it a butt rope

If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-peein

Yo mama is so stupid she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “ i’ve got the power “

What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse’s butt?

An Amish Mechanic.

Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said “Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion”. The first guy came back with 10 apples and by the second one he started to grunt so he was killed and eaten. The second one came back with cherries and when he went to put the 10th one in he started to laugh so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven and the first guy said" dude you were so close what happened?" The second one said" I would have made it but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!"😝😝🤣🤣

why do ducks have feathers? so you don’t see their buttquack* (crack)

yo mama so ugly that when she was born the doctor looked at her face then at her butt and said Twins!

[God creating bees] God: putt a needel on their butt Angel: come on god wha- God: make its puke delicious Angel: wtf

What is the last thing that goes through a fly’s head when it hits the windshield? It’s butt.

A kid came from school. His mother said “What did you do in school?” The boy replied “I had sex with my my Teacher” She said “OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!” He waited, then his dad walked in and said “Your mother told me what you did. I’m proud of you son. Let’s go buy you a bicycle.” When they arrived to the store The dad said " Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said “I can’t, my butt is sore” Dad said “Why is your butt sore” The Boy said “Because I had sex with my teacher”.

Your butt is bigger than uranus

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