Butt jokes
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."