Butt jokes
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.