What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no
Two options: - Chloroform - Duct Tape
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.