Violence jokes

Where did Suzy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.

Chuck Norris once killed 50 people with a grenade. Then he threw the grenade.

The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.

What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈

When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.