Violence jokes
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
What do Americans call high school?
A shooting range.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
Why did the guy run because the girl ripped his penis off?
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.