Violence jokes
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the jaw.
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.