Violence jokes
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.