Violence jokes

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

Well, at least the one I fucked did.

How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.

What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?

Push 'em.

Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?

Everywhere.

"Sticks and stones break my bones."

A crowbar does it so much quicker.

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

Kindly yeet someone!

My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

:me😐

Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?