Violence jokes
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.
Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.