Piece jokes
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
"Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake."
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?
A: A man!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)