Hypocrisy jokes
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.
Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"