Piece jokes
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
You're in One Piece because they're looking for your hairline.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.