Fake emo: when I’m sad i cut myself Real emo: same fake emo: another piece of cake
When i fell depressed i like to cut myself another piece of cake
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map, it took me ages to finish it. But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground and it's done.
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion". The first guy came back with 10 apples and by the second one he started to grunt so he was killed and eaten. The second one came back with cherries and when he went to put the 10th one in he started to laugh so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven and the first guy said" dude you were so close what happened?" The second one said" I would have made it but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!"😝😝🤣🤣
whats the difference between the queens death and princess Diana death? the queen died in peace not pieces
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces
A blind man handed me a piece of paper it said "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽" I have no idea how he knew.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex
They become in-bread
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
I want to be like pizza so i can get cut into 8 pieces
A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife, what she was doing, she said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle, it's supposed to be a tiger but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "honey those are frosted flakes."
What do you call that useless piece of skin that goes all the way around a pussy?.... A woman!
up your pp with a piece of crap!
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion? A. May your baby rest in pieces.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account? You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that- (Destroys phone cutely)
