So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
"Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake."
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
Q: What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a flying piece of shit? A: One letter.
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
