Hot Dog Jokes

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."

His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"

In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.

What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.

A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?

The wiener.

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"

Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?

A: The honor roll.

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Why was the dog staying in the shade?

Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!

Mustard

What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."

Glizzy?

A dog talks to another dog and says,

"Wow, you're a hot dog!"

What do royals and hot dogs have in common?

They're usually in bread.

How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"

I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."