Piece Jokes

Anonymous
in Bullying

What did the cake say to the fork?

Do you want a piece of me!!!

Tanner

The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

Wooster
in Depression

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?

The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

Anonymous

How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake

1
Anonymous
in Michael Jackson

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Will de lad
in Fat

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don’t pick it up.

5
Dawn
in Toe

A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

AFellowPerson
in Depression

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo

Cutting-edge Technology

Rick
in Puns

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

1
Refried beans

Did you know that McDonalds made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50 year old piece of meat in a 12 year old bun.

Unknowingermine
in Skeleton

a skeleton goes sky diving. doesn’t come back in one piece

Anonymous
in Bar

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”

0
MajorOstrich
in Sister

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

2
Anonymous Jail Mom In TX

wo tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

I’m still not sure how I’m not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I’m out in public, I’m a piece of litter.

Greengrass
in Depression

Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.

withered nightmare

guess what song this is from:

I’LL CUT YOU INTO LITTLE BITTY PIECES

OR FREEZE YOU TILL YOUR BLOOD RUNS COLD

OR STAB YOUR TIL’ YOU HEART STOPS PUMPING

I’M HERE TO REALIZE YOUR WISH FROM WHAT I’M TOLD

Daniel King
in School

Why did the students eat their homework 📚?

Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake. 🎂😂

Katie
in Meat

What do you call a lazy piece of meat?

A meatloaf

Alaina
in Toilet Paper

What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? “I feel really wiped.”

2