What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion? A. May your baby rest in pieces.
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account? You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that- (Destroys phone cutely)
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock A: a man!
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
MU i love your joke but i cut me a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheeze cake, and any thing else i can find.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.
