I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man? He made no cents

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is

What’s the best part of dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

A starving homeless kid ask me for food

I said “sorry,my plate is full”

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

My friend looks like a homeless thanks for the jokes

What’s worse than having an honourary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and haveing a honourary degree from Harvard.

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb? “You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

What’s a homeless persons favorite cookie?

Pooreo’s

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks “what is that man doing?”. The mom says “Making pizza” trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says “Making extra cheese”. When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says “Ordering the pizza”.

Later that day the mother says to the father “I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good”.

So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs “wanna order some pizza !?”

The mother replied “DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME”

the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"

What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!

What do you call a grown up orphan? Homeless

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

  1. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

  2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

  3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

  1. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

  2. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

  3. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

  4. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock? – She started her period.

a friend texts to another "hey", they reply, “What’s up?”. The first friend then replies with a simple answer, “the sky!”, but the other friend intervenes and says, “no it’s the ceiling!”. To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, “unless you’re homeless or six feet under.”

Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

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