Piece jokes
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What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.
But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
You're in One Piece because they're looking for your hairline.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself…
A piece of cake.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.