what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop.

pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

Why were the people in the twin towers sad? They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane.

Why are the twin towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plain.

What’s great about an emo pizza? It cuts its self yay

Can you drive a pizza? Of course as long as you change the olive oil.

1. What’s the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humon is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans
2. What’s the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza dosent scream in the oven.

On 9/11 the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas, one came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…

wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?

Never mind. It’s too cheesy. 🍕🧀

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won’t ever see my dog again! Italian: I won’t ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?

Q.why were the twin towers so mad? A. because they ordered pepperoni pizza but they only got plane.

Why were the Twin Towers mad, because they ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane.

What does a pizza delivery man and a ginacologist have in common? They can both smell it but they can’t eat it

Why do pizzas not tell jokes- Theyre to cheseey

Friend 1. whats your favorite drink or food Friend 2. pizza Friend 3. Donuts Friend 4. i don’t eat food but i do drink bleach Friend 1. (calling the suicide hotline) Friend 2. (Calling the parents)

wood fired pizza?

hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O

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The twin towers ordered a pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane.

What do you call Dominos when it doesn’t knows to cook Pizza?

Domi-don’t-knows…