Pizza jokes
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
No one.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
How do you start a rave in Africa? Stick a pizza onto the ceiling.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.