Humor

Why did Harry fall out of the boat?

Because he's hooked!

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

Chode.

What's the difference between America and a flash drive?

One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂

Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!

Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.

If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

What's an Indian's favorite store?

Red Dot.

Yo mama so ugly,

my screen cracked when she took her photo!

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.