Humor

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

What do you call California during a forest fire?

Completely normal.

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!