Humor
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."