Humor
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
Memes
This is so relatable tho.
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Chode.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.