englishcm

Man walks in to his bedroom where his wish is carrying a sheep under his arm and says this is the pig I've been fucking.wife says that's not a pig that's a sheep dumbass.husband says I was talking to the sheep

A girls pussy is a muff and when we have something against or mouths they say our voice is muffled so do I think the origin of the word muffled is talking while eating muff

Farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm says this is the pig I'm fucking she say u idiot that's a sheep he says shut up I wasn't talking to you

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great either

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion

You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rappiest with erectile disfunction

What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama

I know the voices in my head aren't real but man so they have some good ideas

I finally stopped drinking for good

Now I purely drink for evil

How is sports like regular life for orphans?they don't get picked for either

Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations

Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents

What do Jesus and I have in common? No one knows my real bday either

Official orgasm donor

How does Jesus whistle? bye s blowing through the holes in is hands

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful like cyanide

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence

Have you driven through Dealey plaza it will blow your mind~john f. Kennedy