What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
Tommaso
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park? He kept cutting in line.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.
Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt-quack.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."