Humor
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?
Because she had a make-up exam.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
Orphan joke club Discord coming soon.