Humor
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
Memes
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"