Humor
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
Memes
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)