Humor

What is red, pink, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

What is green, brown, and goes round and round?

The same baby 3 weeks later.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?

"I'm not a-moosed right now."

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.

What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?

“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.

Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

Q: What is 9 + 11?

A: 9/11

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?

"May divorce be with you."