Humor

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?

"May divorce be with you."

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?

- Kelp!

Chode.

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!

Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.

Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!