Humor
My favorite toast for parties: May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."
It's not incest if you're adopted.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
Eggs
You crack me up!
I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.
Ok, not really racist but still funny.