Fire jokes

I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

Many soles were lost.

Why did the little girl's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

C is for Clara who wasted away.

D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

G is for George smothered under a rug.

H is for Hector done in by a thug.

I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

J is for James who took lye by mistake.

K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

N is for Neville who died of ennui.

O is for Olive run through with an awl.

P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

S is for Susan who perished of fits.

T is for Titus who flew into bits.

U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

V is for Victor squashed under a train.

W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

Hey God, what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?

Hot Wheels :)

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.

A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"

What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common? They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.

There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.

When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:

"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥

"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.

There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.