Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel - Crackling of fire - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you - Cats purring
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
Hey God what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire
sounds like a match made in heaven
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
When you name yourself twin towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
Twin towers is on fire🔥
Terrorist is on a streak of 2
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says "what about the children" the rabbi says "fuck the children" and the Priest says "do you think we'll have time
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker
last night i burned down an orphanage there was one survivor who said i would regret it i said "what are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie
I got sent to the principals office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
