Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Hey God what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire
sounds like a match made in heaven
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel - Crackling of fire - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you - Cats purring
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
i pushed a dog into a fire and said "hot dog"
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill but before I did I set his wheels on fire and called him hot wheels
What do you call a gay kid on fire? LGBBQ.
When you name yourself twin towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
Twin towers is on fire🔥
Terrorist is on a streak of 2
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
You're the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels