Fire Jokes

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Hey God what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire

sounds like a match made in heaven

There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel - Crackling of fire - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you - Cats purring

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

What does it sound when a dragon sings? A fire alarm

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and your ready to fire.

Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

What do you call a gay kid on fire? LGBBQ.

What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.