Comeback jokes
you.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
What do you say to a bully?
I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
D.K. is back, baby!
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”