Humor

I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!

Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.

I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.

Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.

She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”

The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”

The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?

“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.