Humor
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?
A: A rocket chip.
There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.