Humor

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.

She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”

The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”

The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?

“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?

"I'm not a-moosed right now."

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.

What is red, pink, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

What is green, brown, and goes round and round?

The same baby 3 weeks later.

Imagine a dragon 🤔.

Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"

Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"