The 80+ Best Toilet Paper Jokes

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

I ain't shaking any ones hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking any ones hand because y'all out of toilet paper!

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger licken' good!

Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves...today was the tip of the iceberg

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll

Its embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down, lucky enough the super market is just round the corner.