80+ Toilet Paper Jokes

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

The image shows three portraits of Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, and Isaac Newton under the text "People whom are normally thought to be the smartest in the world." Below, there is an image of a silhouette of a person's head with a question mark in place of a face, followed by the text: "The actual smartest person in the world: The guy that made toilet paper turn red when you've finished wiping."

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.

It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.