Clothing jokes
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!