I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, what’s so sad and she said “What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died”. I replied “probably a bullet”, she gasped and said “do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent’s heads”, I said " probably all the money their losing from this funeral".
I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you’ll love. anyway…
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said “sure just dont look up”. He looked up and said " woah what are those?". She replied " those are just headlights." He looked down and said “what is that?” She said that’s just a bush." The next day mommy wasnt home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said “okay but don’t look up.” He looked up and said “woah what is that?” His papa replied “that’s just a snake.” Later that night he asked to sleep with his parents. They said “okay just dont look under the covers.” After a while he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed “mom turn on the headlights the snake is in the Bush!!”
Kid: “I wish I could be like Batman!”
Genie: “Wish granted!”
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Teacher: Is anyone missing.
Students: Your Parents
if you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. what are they gonna do? tell their parents?
I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
why do orphans hate going to costco because they need a parent to get samples
Police: Where do u live Me: With my parents Police: Where your parents live Me: With me Police: Where do you all live Me: Together Police: where is your house Me: Next to my neighbor Police: Where is your neighbor’s house Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I
ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "Ive kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.” The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags I asked if he was an orphan he said “Yeah what gave me away” I said his parents
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent!
Orphan: -no response-
When meeting her parents don’t require you to leave the house
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
why cant orphans watch PG movies?
BC they are parental guidance.
Orphan- I want to kill my parents
People- I dont think you have the facilities for that big man
Girl: come over orphan: I can’t
Girl: my parents aren’t home ;) orphan: oh cool something we have in common
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
April fools joke go to an orphanage and tell them their parents came back
So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke.