Wine Jokes

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit i forgot but they're both locked in my cellar right now.


Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"


🍷 πŸ“Ί What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are ✝️ white christian nationalist? They both thank you for your financial support πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘Œ πŸ‘Œ 😘 😘 😊 😊 πŸ’° πŸ’° πŸ’Έ πŸ’Έ

"Jesus can turn water into wine,but I can turn your mother into mine " -Sun Tzu the art of creating war

Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!

Woman gets pulled over by a cop Cop: ma'am have you been drink Lady: no officer Cop: what's that in your cup then ma'am Lady: just water officer Cop: looks like wine to me Lady: oh my god Jesus did it again

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, β€œI will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, β€œGive me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrement

The person living there points and says, "begone fowl blood-drinker"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames leaving nothing but ash.

Yo look they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine yay yay don't drink too much of it you might turn into a wine rabbit.