The 40+ Best Wine Jokes

I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement .

Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.

I like my women how I like my wine.

14 years aged and locked in a cellar.

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit i forgot but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"

🍷 📺 What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are ✝️ white christian nationalist? They both thank you for your financial support 👍 👍 👌 👌 😘 😘 😊 😊 💰 💰 💸 💸

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten

what happens to grapes when you step on them? they wine

"Jesus can turn water into wine,but I can turn your mother into mine " -Sun Tzu the art of creating war

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

What's is a duck favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.

Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad...to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!

Woman gets pulled over by a cop Cop: ma'am have you been drink Lady: no officer Cop: what's that in your cup then ma'am Lady: just water officer Cop: looks like wine to me Lady: oh my god Jesus did it again

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine

would you like some wine with those french cries?

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike. Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would out and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle. It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.