Health jokes
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.
Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.