Health jokes
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Lete know in the comments
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"