Anus Jokes

Chair

Crahsty A. Nus

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

Nan

Anonymous

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum Your anus looks like my mums bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo. I also just wanted to add that a goonies anus looks like my nans mouth

Burning

oh god it burns

Why is my anus burning? Cause I sat on an open lighter oh god help

INS

Anonymous

Hey i never knew We had a planet in our body

Butt

No U

anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus anus

Uranus

Elmo king

so dad is teaching his 8 year old son about the planets and said this is Uranus then the 5 year old son says where is my anus

Alcohol

Jay Leno

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Uranus

Yeetus

A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my Anus?"

Uranus

Anonymous

Uranus Ur anus your anus anus is what's in between your two buttocks

Uranus

Keo the MoonMcraft

I guess neptune is next to Your Anus XDDDD

Toilet Paper

Anonymous

What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?

Answer: they both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!

INS

😀

Want to know why some astronomers are gay?

It’s because they want to be in UR ANUS

Sex

Anonymous

Gay person to girl:what’s your favourite planet Girl:penus-(penis)(venus),and what is yours? Gay person: what else, its Your Anus(uranus)😅

Uranus

Anonymous

baby heres my anus baby 2 wheres my anus

Doctor

Anonymous

You know your doctor is gay when he ask u to touch your toes and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus

2

Butt

Anonymous

So here’s Uranus where’s my anus

Uranus

Anonymous

what's gassy and as cold as ice. ur-anus