Lovely perv


So there’s this air purifier in my room right, and it’s really noisy so I unplugged it to sleep better and sure enough I fell asleep faster, so I came to the conclusion if I unplug noisy machines people will sleep better. It worked really well in my local hospital

I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments

True story: my math teacher mr.ueberoth accidently marked a kahoot as 100 points in googleclass room instead of 10 if he doesnt find out the grades will be more hyper inflated than zimbobwa’s economy.

Yesterday on the school bus my freind infront of me said she was 41% irish and 15% Mexican then my freind siting next to me said “wow almost half leprechaun” then I said “yeah and 15 percent wall climber”

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)

Vape company:hey want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction? Teens:NO WAY! Vape company:but it’s mango flavoured! Teens:O OK 😤

This is true today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said “need money for strippers and weed”

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie die hard) dies of a viagra overdose would that mean he truly dies hard

So two people are on a date and the guy says “wow you are so beautiful” then the girl says “you just want to have sex” then the guy adds “SMART TO!”

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg! Atheist: you prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

So little Johnny is walking down the street and askes a stranger “sir what are hormones?” Then the man replies “the moans of a fucking whore