'Who was purple and wanted to rule the world? Alexander the Grape.'
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
What happens when a furry takes over nazi germany? The Furred reich
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
1 like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do but one rule it can be only 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?
im required by law to tell you i am a regesterd sex offender
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
ROSES ARE RED, LEMONS ARE SOUR. OPEN YOUR LEGS AND GIVE ME AN HOUR.
KIK:hangtherule
Why ain’t Indian packiscan aloud in the World Cup of baseball? Every time they hit a corner they open a shop
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention? Don't get carried away.
Riddles not jokes
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
and last one
What can rule, but not command?
Tell meh the answers in the comments
like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
1 more thing: DoN"t google it or search it up, use ur brain to answer these.
Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane
Why’s it called a Caesar Salad? ‘Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
The 3 life rules 1. 2. 3. oh there are no rules cus u have no life
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules? He was BONE tiba wild
Your so fat when you went outside you broke the rules for 2 meter for covid
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
so a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats and the dealer tells him ‘dude the rain will ruin the seats get it under something if it starts raining and worst case scenario put vaseline all over the seats to make it water proof’. so he goes to his girlfriend house that night for dinner and before he goes inside she says ‘listen this is your first time meeting your parents we have a rule, the first one to speak has to do the dishes’. so he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes over 3 months because no one has spoken and the stench is awful. during dinner he concocted a plan to get someone to speak so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. not a peep eventually he grabs his girlfriend bends her over and starts going to town. still nothing the parents are outraged but not speaking because they don’t want to do the dishes. after about a minute of this he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. at that moment it starts to rain his motorcycle is out in the rain and grabs the vaseline out of his pack pocket and the dad goes ‘FINE ILL DO THE DISHES’
