The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
What happens when a furry takes over nazi germany? The Furred reich
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.
