Advertisement
Advertisement

Toe

Anonymous

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

Number

Kit-Kat

10 Fun Facts

  1. You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
  2. You can’t count your hair.
  3. You can’t breath through your nose with your tongue out.
  4. You just tried number 3.
  5. When you did number 3, you realized it’s possible, only you look like a dog.
  6. You’re smiling right now because you were fooled.
  7. You skipped number 5.
  8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5.
  9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

Grandpa

austin

my grandpa has a world record for holding his breathe… hes been holding it for 6 years.

Puns

Self-made man

I’ve just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

Man

Galaxycat

Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A:How do you breathe through that little thing?

Puns

*cough cough*

What did the lungs say to the cigar?? ‘You take my breath away…’

Number

Timber

1.You can´t wash you´re eyes with soap
2.You can´t count you´re hair 3.You can´t breathe through you nose with youre tongue out 4.You just tried number three 5.When u tried number 3 u realized it was possible only u look like a dog 6.Youre smileing right now because you relized you were fooloed 7.you skipped number 5 8.you just checked if there was a number 5 9.This is not my joke all credit goes to steps

Shooting

ThunderGod2245

A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied “I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing”

Harding

Corona-boi

Are you corona?? Cuz it’s hard to breath around u ;)

Man

JUSTSTOP

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

Minutes

carsons a b....

you have a six minute timer to live but when you breath it resets

Puns

Anonymous

Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

Advertisement

Gas

John

My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone’s breathing masks to laughing gas.

Fire

Kameron ray

your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.

Nut

SEX

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

Other jokes:

  1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.

  2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?

  3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.

  4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!

  5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

  6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

  7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.

  8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.

Green

Anonymous

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe… Breathe…

Man

i kick a$$

when ant man is the size of an atom how can he breathe?

Need

Anonymous

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

Night

Brody

Your dick is so small it’s the size of a tic tac. Oh, that’s why your mom’s breath was so fresh last night.

Die

geniius

if u cut off ur head u cant breathe u also cant breathe if u die so y isnt it debreathiation

Loading...