my grandpa has a world record for holding his breathe… hes been holding it for 6 years.

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

What did the lungs say to the cigar?? ‘You take my breath away…’

A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied “I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing”

Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

You’re so lame you don’t have a superpower! Yah I do! Oh yeah what is it? My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand! That’s breathing Jim. NO IT’S NOT ,JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!

your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.

if u cut off ur head u cant breathe u also cant breathe if u die so y isnt it debreathiation

My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone’s breathing masks to laughing gas.

What keeps you breathing when your on earth?

I don’t know I suffocated at birth

Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A:How do you breathe through that little thing?

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇

There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day he sat down and he died.

The sky never changes colour but when it does we know how your breath is increasing

How do you die from alzheimers? You forget how to breath.

Ur mum smells like shit ye so she sucks a man off and washenmasheen yo don’t at me yeh u chiken breath

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

Sucicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breath

When you breath.

Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people.(on fortnite)

WHY CANT CHEETAHS RUN FOREVER BECAUSE THEY RUN OUT OF BREATH

baby > commits start breathing Mom> commits abort baby > commits ohshit.exe

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