Fat jokes

Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

My friend: Chunky dunks.

Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.

Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

You shouldn’t bully fat people.

They already have enough on their plate.

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller.

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

Students: Eggs.

Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

Kids: Bacon.

Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

Kids: Homework.