Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework
Fatty and skinny were in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.
Why do the japanese hate Christmas???
Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population
Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?
my friend: Chunky dunks
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
Yo mama is so fat it took Nation Wide 15 years to get on her side.
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying ten pounds of crack
Yo mama so fat she blocked my internet connection.
I know five fat people and you're three of them
yo mamas so fat that she doesn't need internet cause she is already world wide
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus