Fat jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

My friend: Chunky dunks.

Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

Students: Eggs.

Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

Kids: Bacon.

Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

Kids: Homework.

Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

Yo mama is so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.