Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you

Students: Eggs

Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you

Kids: Bacon

Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you

Kids: Homework

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

Fatty and skinny were in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.

Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?

my friend: Chunky dunks

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller.

Yo mama is so fat it took Nation Wide 15 years to get on her side.

My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, “OK, you’re ugly too.”

Yo Mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said-- To be continued

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don’t pick it up.

How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake

Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

yo mamas so fat that she doesn’t need internet cause she is already world wide

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN

I know five fat people and you’re three of them

yo mama so fat thanos had to clap