Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?
my friend: Chunky dunks
Fatty and skinny were in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
Why do the japanese hate Christmas???
Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
Yo mama so fat she blocked my internet connection.
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator
Yo mama is so fat it took Nation Wide 15 years to get on her side.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake
You shouldn’t bully fat people
They already have enough on their plate
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
I know five fat people and you're three of them
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus
