Chewing Gum jokes

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)

What do guns and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

A. Toothpaste.

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"