Health jokes
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
Memes
tru tho
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
I can't stand disability jokes.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.