Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
Health Jokes
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
I can't stand disability jokes.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
My depressed body would look great hanging from a tree...
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
