If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
What's wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Why is a nun called a nun? Cause they aint supposed to get nun ;)
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Habit.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?
They take a "power puff."
