Sunglasses jokes
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
What do you call hot cups?
Sunglasses.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
What did the sunglasses say to the banana?
Nothing, sunglasses can’t talk.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses?
To SHADE the HATERS!
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the interview?
Because his FUTURE was too BRIGHT!
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."