Clock jokes
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
Why did the clock go out to the gazebo? To spend some time out.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.