Clock

Clock Jokes

Donald Trump

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

Factory

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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  • Brain Damage

    Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.

    Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.

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  • Time

    What happens when a clock is hungry?

    It goes back four seconds.

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  • Time

    Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

    Watch

    Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?

    He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

    Time

    Why did the clock go out to the gazebo? To spend some time out.

    Orphan

    What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.

    Time

    Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?

    He wanted to see time fly.

    Time

    What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.