What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes. Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
How is smoking similar to oral sex? The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself thinking it’s a cigarette.
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic
Plus she's too young to smoke
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
If she’s old enough to smoke She’s old enough to choke If she’s old enough to pee She’s old enough for me
what do fish smoke? a puffer
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
What is the difference between cremation and smoking? while you are smoking you don't go up in smoke
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back. ANDI still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough." The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke? Yours.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment? They kill people.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette he will be warm for a short time, But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
