Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes. Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself thinking it’s a cigarette.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How is smoking similar to oral sex? The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment? They kill people.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke? Yours.
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic
Plus she's too young to smoke
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette he will be warm for a short time, But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
If she’s old enough to smoke She’s old enough to choke If she’s old enough to pee She’s old enough for me
what do fish smoke? a puffer
