Star Jokes

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."

What kind of star would go to jail?

A shooting star!

What kind of fish comes out at night?

A starfish.

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

Which fish is the most famous?

The star fish!

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

What is money called in space?

Star bucks.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.

The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"

The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"

"Yellow and far apart."

Question: What did the sun say to the little star?

Answer: Are you my SUN?

"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."

Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Bf: What do you think about our love?

Gf: Count the stars in the sky.

Bf: Aww, it's infinity.

Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.

Mÿ pp.

So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."

So I said, "Aquarius."

And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."

The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.

Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"

Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.