Star Jokes

in Puns

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A star fish

Your name (optional)
in Puns

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

billy teh boot
in Bad

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself...

Where the f*ck is my roof?

in Roast

crush: how much do you love me??

me: well look at the stars outside

crush: but its morning me: exactly


"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."

Ur Mom


What is money called in space

Star bucks


Why did they invent glow in the dark condoms So gay guys can play star wars

Daniel King

What kind of star ⭐️ would go to jail?

A shooting star 🌠!

in Star Wars

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

in Animal

My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. -- She was eaten by a giant crab.


The Wife said "Honey! Do you like my new Teeth?"

The Husband replied "They remind me of stars Darling!" "Yellow and Far apart"

in Savage

Bf:what do you think about our love?

Gf:count the stars in the sky

Bf:aww its infinity

Gf:nope just a waste of time

in Star Wars

What kind of car does yoda drive. A toyoda

Big man

So i went to the doctors and the doctor said "Pick a star sign any star sign" So i said "Aquarius" And the doctor said "nah mate you've got cancer"

Anonymous 69
in Orphan

i feel sad for orphans the cant watch star wars bc its parental guidance

in Roast

Girl: how much do you love me Me: count the stars in the sky Girl awww it’s infinite Me no just a waste of time


What’s the worst thing to star in?

An amber alert.

sara, ready to die
in Depression

twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i'll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i'll die. I hope i'll born to a new hole life.


I walked in to the doctors surgery and and he said to me "pick a star sign any star sign" "I said Capricorn" He said "Nahh you got cancer"

in Orphan

what is an orphans favorite quote in star wars? "I am your father"