your forehead so big that if i drew an H on it kobe could have landed there

you know that feeling when your going throught a school parking lot and go over a speed bump then you realize that there are no speed bumps

i really wasnt planning on going for a run today, but damn those cops came put of nowhere’s

the only joke here is the topic

this website it darker than the kid that got arrested last week

do you ever get that feeling where your just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots

yall really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! god.

so my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said usually overdose.

whats the 9/11 survivors least favorite team?

new york jets

what do you call a virgin from alabama

an orphan

why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk

this isnt really a joke but true… you picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

lol i have no life :)

ahem… if somebody you dont like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this

Hello thank you for choosing mamas pizzeria/ abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce how may i help you?

or

hello this is davids orphanage you make them we take them how may i help you?

some people reactions are priceless and then the wonder about you mental health