Stroke jokes

What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?

A stroke of luck :)

One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.

In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"

The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."

In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"

The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."

In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"

The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."

Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"

Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.

A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.

Don’t worry if you have a stroke.

You’ll be all right.

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?

They have both had a few strokes.

What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?

Mashed potatoes.

Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef stroganoff.

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?

After a few strokes, there’s no going back.