What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
AIDS?
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
