Health jokes
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.