A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says “God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad.” The father says, “Good bye Grandad? Why is that?” The daughter says, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can’t believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter’s prayers again. She says, “God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn’t know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, “God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy.” The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn’t go home and stays there until midnight. He’s very surprised. ‘I’ve cheated death!’ he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, “Where have you been?!” and the husband says, “Oh don’t ask me any questions, today’s been miserable.” The wife replies, “Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch…”
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”
I had recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died… from an autopsy
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family even grandma.
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree and so she could live forever.
But it I’m not gonna lie it was a nice toasty fire…
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up
You wonder and you wonder grandma said you better go to bed now tell your dad and grandpa the and your dad and your mom
what’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer,and a poor kids parents getting ran over by military tractors?When grandma got ran over by a reindeer,the kids actually gave a shit.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandmas dead
What does a phone and a grandma have incomen. They both die What’s the difference between them. If you shove something up your grandmas ass she wont come back to life
When your grandma says your she’s rusty but still manages to teach you
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest Son: wheres grandma?
“Grandma, tell me a story!” I said as we huddled near the campfire “Alright,” She said “Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches.” “Where is Timmy now?” I asked Grandma pointed to the campfire.
This kid was going to sleep and h said night mum night dad and night gramma and bye grandpa next morning grandpa died and the next night he said night dad night mum night grandma and gramma died the next morning and the next night he said night mum bye dad and they heard the postman died bc he was the dad lol
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: my grandma walk in while I was knife raping my wife.