How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Health Jokes
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
