3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, "u would never believe what i discovered." intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. "oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "oh sh*t...."
My best friend looked at my arms and said “stop sh it’s bad” then turns right around and says “you look like a tiger”
so from here on out i am now Finn the self harming tiger
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes.. bro it's not that deep
I SH so much, even when i die and become a ghost, you can see red striped floating around the room.
yo mama so ugly she went to the bathroom and scared the sh!t out of the toilet
my friend: you really need to stop the sh jokes Me: But their not that long
when i sh one day, my mother told me that it cuter her deep, we both found that very amusing
I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)
friend:stop w the sh jokes there not funny me: its not that deep. ill cut it out
What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf.....s ain't gonna believe this sh.."
what does a pregnant 14 year old and her foetus? theyre both thinking; oh sh@t my moms gonna kill me!
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
my wife said i had no sense of direction.... so i packed my sh*t and right
I talked to a future suicide bomber, I told him, "ISIS ain't got Sh** on me because I Planted a bomb and lived."
Oh Sh**! I'm late for y interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you...
That other guy in the comment section: that’s actually offensive to ducks
Bro it’s a joke....
when you tell an orphan I did your mom in your home an and they start crying ME: you f&*k up the class:oh sh!&
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Sh!t on a stick
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber
