Watermelon jokes

They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.

I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.

What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?

Reality.

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.

How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?

Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.

Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?

Tax credit.

They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.

Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.