Watermelon jokes
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool? It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D