Watermelon jokes

They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.

I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.

What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?

Reality.

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.

How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?

Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.

Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?

Tax credit.

They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.

Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.

When do you go on red and stop at green?

A watermelon.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.