Health jokes

Why do women get periods?

Just cancel the subscription.

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

What do you call a rapper with a cold?

Lil Sneezy.

Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.

What do you call a Black man having a seizure?

Chocolate shake.

They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.

What was the winning play at the leper football game?

A hand off up the middle.

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.