Health jokes

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.

What do you call a Black man having a seizure?

Chocolate shake.

We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.

They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.

What was the winning play at the leper football game?

A hand off up the middle.

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer doesn't leave.

I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.