Health jokes
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
Memes
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.