Health jokes
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼