Cat jokes
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
I killed my cat.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.