Health jokes
I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.