Health Jokes

How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the jaw.

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.

They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

Bros got barcode arms.

hahhahahahaha

The image shows a close-up of a person's face with dark circles around their eyes and a wide, exaggerated smile. The text on the image reads, "MY FACE" at the top and "AFTER A 48 HOUR SHIFT" at the bottom. The watermark "nursebuff.com" is in the lower right corner.

What do you call a hung autist...

Dead.

What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?

Cancer!

What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?

Milkshake.

"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

I gave up hope and I liked it!!

I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})

How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?

"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."

Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!

Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.

What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.

Why do cheetahs have spots?

Chickenpox!

Why did the doctor check out Earth?

He had a tummy quake.

My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.

She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.