Health jokes
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.