Health jokes
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
I have nut cancer...
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"